I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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