Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
