reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
