I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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