guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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