bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
