I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
