She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
