i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
