my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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