Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
