I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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