How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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