You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize