woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
