I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
