Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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