Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
