So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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