all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Did I show you my penis last night?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
