I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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