aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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