a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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