its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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