we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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