Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
