dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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