If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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