am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
