I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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