you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
