That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
