I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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