Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Randomize