so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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