my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
