Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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