spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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