Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
