Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Randomize
