Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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