Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
