You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
