Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
its not stalking. its research.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
