Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
