Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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