p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
