Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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