I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
it's great music for shaving your balls
cat food counts as protein by the way
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
