so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
