it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
My vagina is officially offended.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
