You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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