she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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