I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
