Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
We don't watch enough power rangers
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
