I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize