Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
